Atonement
by Maliciousmustard
Summary: After making love with Solomon in an alternate Ep.43, despite her feelings, Saya returns with Haji to fulfill her mission. She tries to forget what happened between them that night, but soon finds out that she is bound to him by something other then lust.
1. Flight

_Hi! I'm pretty new here, but not new to the writing world. __J_

_I'm writing this is response to a beautiful one-shot written by Azshara called 'This Love'. It's a lovely piece of work and I recommend that all of you read it in order to further understand my fan fiction. I wrote a short poem after a flood of ideas but did it no justice. _

_I'm more of a SolomonxsSaya shipper; I fine their relationship to be far more interesting. However, this fic was written to play with the idea of Azshsara's sweet one-shot and to explore all of Saya's relationships. I want to satisfy both sides so I'm not floating on any boats here._

_This fan fiction takes place after some turn of events of Ep. 43. Solomon kidnaps Saya and takes her back to his New York flat. Instead of turning him down however, Saya gives into his tranquil words and makes love to him that night. A night of bliss is soon interrupted for Solomon when Hagi comes knocking at his door…_

_***  
_

"Stop!" Saya cried. She looked up in horror as the two men who loved her dueled in the sky. They became nothing but blurs and sounds after a while, and the flood of emotion was making her faint.

How could she have let this happen? Why didn't she flee from Solomon's flat when she had the chance? How did she let her curiosity lead her to this point? Questions flooded her mind as she listened to the clanks of metal strike each other; each blow flashing a new question across her mind, one after the other and after the other.

It was almost as if someone pulled a string out of her body to release her. She closed her eyes and her back arched as the flow of gravity pulled her to the ground. There was no way Saya's leap would go unnoticed; it was only a matter of time until one of the two flew to her rescue. After moments of floating above the ground, her senses familiarized her faithful chevalier's arms pressed against her flesh. She shut her eyes tighter, fighting the image of Solomon's face plastered in in her mind, guiltily longing for him.

She opened her eyes and locked her eyes with Hagi, who was slowly descending to the ground. A flash of disappointment shivered down her spine.

"Saya," Hagi said. "Are you alright?"

Saya squeezed Hagi's sleeve. "I just wanted you to stop."

Hagi said nothing, but his gaze turned apologetic. Suddenly, the ground hit Haji's feet with a thud, making saya bounce slightly. Hagi guided her to the ground and held her until she stood stably. She ran her fingers gingerly down his arm signaling that she was alright.

Solomon was there before she looked up.

"Saya, please! Stay with me, come and live with me! We have a future together, one that can flourish! Your life doesn't have to end with Diva, you don't have to continue life in this miserable rut! Please…" Solomon's voice was far from desperate, but the tone of urgency lingered in his voice.

Saya turned her head away. His eyes… she couldn't look at him without thinking of the moments earlier when they made love.

The moment when she betrayed everything she valued.

"Solomon, I…" Haji squeezed her shoulder firmly; he might as well have been strangling her with the guilt she felt inside. If he only knew… She breathed it heavily and looked at Solomon straight in to his eyes.

A weight dropped in her stomach. Is this the cruelest form of torture that she could play on her enemy? Would breaking every bone in his body take away the pain of the broken heart? His eyes pleaded her to come back to him, to spend the rest of the night and fall into his sweet bliss…

But his sweet bliss was poisonous gas, suffocating and blinding her. She didn't deserve the sweet decadence and worldly pleasures he had offered- she wasn't worthy. Her kind was to be exterminated, including Solomon.

Yet, his sweet bliss was humanly, loving and reminded her of the time when she thought of herself as human. His words intoxicated her with confusion: How could he say such misleading things when she was so close to her goal? His words were things her father would say, reminding her of how life should be lived…

But that was the past. Her father wasn't aware of the monster that she was today.

"I'm sorry," she said, slightly louder than a murmur. "I can't."

Solomon's eyes widened, and his reaction was ignored as her and Hagi launched into the sky, leaving Solomon on his knees.

***

_If I only could keep a part of you…_

Saya opened her eyes and slowly raised from the bed. She looked side to side and found Hagi waiting faithfully beside her. Though his still exterior fooled those around him, to Saya, the slightest twitch of the eye may as well mean he was sobbing. The urgency in his eyes meant nothing less.

She could anticipate his yearning questions about knowing what happened the other night.

"Hagi…" she whispered. His hand crawled on top of hers and squeezed slightly. He looked away from her, fighting his curiosity.

The pain may have been a monster ripping apart her stomach. How could she lie to Hagi, or ever worse, tell him the truth? If she lied he would sure read her, but if she told the truth, oh God if she told the truth…

She may loose him forever. Maybe it's a risk she would have to take.

"Hagi, nothing happened last night. Solomon confessed his love to me, but," she giggled nervously, "how can I possibly believe the enemy?"

Hagi snapped his neck suddenly; staring Saya directly in the eyes. His stare wasn't necessarily a glare, but a denunciatory stare that made Saya's stomach tie in knots.

"You're… you're not lying to me, are you Saya?" His voice trembled, not in anger but in fear. Tears rimmed Saya's lids. She could say anything and Hagi would abide by her sweet lies; running away from the truth. Was she that cruel?

"No. No Hagi, I'm not lying to you. We have a mission; even Solomon's silly words can't get in the way of that…"

The corners of his mouth rose.

"Of course," Hagi said. "How could I forget."

Saya locked gazes with Hagi and squeezed his hand assuredly.

She straightened her back and yawned. She released her hand from Hagi and raise them in the air, releasing the preesure with a stretch.

"I'm going to take a shower, Hagi. I need the warm water."

He nodded his head. "Of course."

Hagi exited the room as Saya got up from her bed and entered the bathroom. She turned on the shower nozzle and stripped until bare. She looked at the mirror ahead of her and leaned against the wall, looking at herself. She blinked and suddenly Solomon was standing next to her, nude alongside. She jumped and stood up straight, but the image was soon gone.

The pain in his face was…

"I'm sorry…"

Steam built in the mirror, soon covering her own face with steam. She slid down the wall, face buried in her hands.

_Uggh, sorry for an emo-filled chapter. This was Saya in her emo stage anyway, so it's excusable, I think. Too bad she doesn't know what's inside her heh heh heh…_

_***  
_

_Before anyone says anything: I know most of you are used to Hagi's names being spelt H-A-J-I but… for some reason the Word Processor for my computer does this thing whenever I spell in HAJI it automatically capitalizes the 'I' like this: HajI. I have no idea why, whenever I press the space bar it does that. Since it takes away from the flow of typing because I have to go back and edit it oddly, I'm spelling it with a 'g'. Sorry if I ruined anyone's lives with this catastrophe._


	2. Polyneices

_Wow, thanks for the comments and notifications! Hopefully this story will fulfill your expectations._

_I was reading chapter 1 and I didn't realize how short it was; I may add to it. Also, there are some grammatical errors I over-looked. I blame it on the whole HAJI dilemma… I was too focused on that to look at anything else. But yeah, this chapter will be muuuch longer; I should probably extend chapter 1 actually, or make it an introduction instead of chapter 1.… I also should really re-watch Blood+, my memory is a little flaky. _

_Meh, I'll get around to it, but don't be too surprise if there's an update on Ch.1 in the near future._

_***_

_Is blood… the only substance that drives the body?_

With a bottle of tequila at hand, Solomon sulked lethargically on his couch. He took a deep breath and licked the lingering taste of the sweet tequila off his lips; saving whatever left in the bottle.

_Nowadays, it's liquor that drives my body…_

Solomon had been in his apartment for days. The luxury of sleep had escaped him long ago, so he spent many of the nights sipping at his $40 bottles of tequila and sulked. His couch, which was there merely for decoration, had become accustomed to his rear.

His face flashed hot and cold; he could feel another 'round of tears erupting. He buried his head in his hands and sobbed. The depression was unbearable; and it was mostly because he didn't understand. He didn't understand what drove her to this pique of insanity; what made her hate her species so much; and mostly, what conveyed her to make love to him, if she hates what he is?

That question burned the most.

He wanted to see that girl he danced with at the Lycee. The smile and the laugh felt like a once in a lifetime opportunity. In order for Solomon to be able to relish it again, it wasn't him that she would have to learn to love.

She had to learn to love herself first.

"Geez, you look like somebody sliced your Johnson off."

Solomon slid his head from his hand to find Nathan standing before him. He displayed himself in his usual fashion; arms crossed and standing in contrapposto, giving off an air of false apathy.

He looked at his nails uninterestedly and impassively gazed back at Solomon. "What's got your panties in a bunch?"

Solomon didn't respond, but slouched and rested his elbows on his knees; staring at the floor.

"Come now," he said, waving a hand. "Don't be such a drama queen, where's the tease I know and love?"

Solomon buried his hands deeper into his hands and said, "What do you want, Nathan?"

Nathan grinned ear-to-ear and whipped his hand behind his back. "Oh! You know, I just wanted a little update on your latest pursue on Sister Saya. Momma Diva may have lost interest in you, well- I know it's false disdain, but I still care about the CEO and moneybag!"

Nathan raised his arms side to side in full length, as if he was about to embrace Solomon. He them sat down next to Solomon with his legs crossed and resting his chin on his hand. He pouted his lips and said, "What's wrong, darling? Who hurt our baby Solomon?"

He ran his down Solomon's arm, but Solomon gave no reaction.

"If Amshel is worried about the corporation, tell him I will sign over my presidency over to him."

Nathan raised an eyebrow. "Yeesh, you've become easy game, now haven't you?

Tears streamed Solomon's cheek as he said, "Please, Nathan… Please, just leave me alone…"

A pause of silence came between them, but was soon interrupted by Nathan's giggling.

"My God, Solomon Goldshmidt has lost it. You finally have a sense of love and lost. I never thought I'd see the day…"

Solomon turned his head snappishly at Nathan, awed by his insensitivity.

"I know you may have forgotten all sense of feeling and self," Solomon said, gazing at him with utter loathing, "but don't mock me until you've felt true love."

Nathan continued laughing, but the giggle descended into hums. He crossed his arms behind his head and leaned his head against them.

"Honey, I'm always in love. The difference between you and me is I know how to ration it."

Solomon looked away and closed his eyes.

"Ahh yes, the tragic hero. I see her, Antigone!" Nathan swept his hands before his face, picturing something in his mind. "Oh yes, the rebellious princess who goes against the laws she always abided by, conflicted by her love of her traitorous brother, Polyneices, and the home that had always been good to her… Where's the stage? Hmm, were you aware you were a modern Antigone, Solomon?"

He let out a soft chuckle and said, "My love and Antigone's are different."

"Are you sure?" Nathan mused, "Because, at the rate Polyneices is going, you'll soon be spreading the dust over the body, too."

Solomon stared at Nathan intensely.

"Oh, don't be so offended. You know better than to take me too seriously, but I love it when the stage takes itself in real life…

"So, are you going to tell me what's wrong, or am I just wasting my time? You surely do look like you need the company."

Solomon breathed in heavily and straightened his back, sliding his hands up his thighs.

"Will you leave me be if I tell you?"

Nathan winked teasingly, "Don't worry, love. It'll be our little secret."

_***_

She always had an appetite, but nothing like this.

If she wasn't plotting with David her mission, she was eating; or eating while plotting her mission with David.

It had been a week since Solomon kidnapped her, but the presence of that day lingered like a bad stench. The guilt of betraying everyone in the Red Shield was almost too unbearable. It didn't matter it they never found out what she did; it's something deeper than that: it's the confliction of everything she thought was right and wrong. The whole scenario blurred into gray; the line became almost unrecognizable.

Solomon is supposed to be the enemy. _The enemy! _How dare he fill her head with those false dreams… Her father also gave her those sweet lies, but she was a different person then. If Solomon had offered her these delights when they were dancing at the Lycee, she would have jumped in his arms and told him to take her away. The way she felt that night, her desires… her dreams.

Well, they aren't worth recollecting at this point.

"Saya, could you please focus!"

A jolt shocked her back into attention. She was so lost in her thoughts that she barely remembered what David had just said.

She rubbed her eyes and said, "I-I'm sorry David, could you repeat that?"

David arched an eyebrow and straightened some papers in his hands against the table. He let out a cough of irritation.

"As I was saying, have you seen the commercials of Diva's performance? At this rate, the entire nation will be watching her!"

Saya looked down at the table. Hagi was standing behind her, his hand resting on her shoulder. Diva was the goal, wasn't she?

The envy she felt for Diva poisoned her mind at times. It must have been nice being Diva; living life care-free, traveling the world doing what you love…

Yet, if Diva's innate plans weren't so devious, Saya wouldn't be here, now would she?

"David," Saya stated with a heavy sigh. "I cannot control how Diva advertises herself. I…" Saya lifted her hands and let them fall flat on her lap, loosing her train of thought.

She looked at David straight in the eye. "This is something I need to do myself, David. I don't need you pressing me about everything I do."

David scuffed. "Please, you know you're now about to go at this alone. None of us will let you."

She wish they would. The embarrassment of exterminating her own species was something she would rather do in solitary.

"So," David began. "May I ask what happened the night Diva's Chevalier kidnapped you?"

Saya knew that was coming. She was asked about it by nearly every in relation with her. Her lies have become more convincing, but had become enervated.

"I'm sure Julia has filled you in."

David seemed taken aback by Saya's bluntness. "The only reason I inquire you about it is because I want to know if there is any information worth knowing. Obviously, if the event was so traumatizing that you're unable to recall such details, then please, keep information from me."

The sarcasm in his voice stung. Hagi's grasp became tighter; the offense traveling into her. But, it was with David's personality to take duty over other's feelings.

"No, it's nothing like that. He didn't tell me anything related to Diva or the performance."

David heaved an unsatisfied sigh.

"He couldn't have kept you hostage in solitude, what on earth did he do with you all that time?"

It felt as if Saya's heart had stopped beating momentarily. She hated how David pressed every detail.

Saya's head sunk and she recalled the moments before the incident. "He… confessed his love for me, and denounced his relationship with Diva. He wanted me to flee with him, marry him… forget about the mission, Diva…"

An air filled her, almost like she was about to be lifted from her seat and hit the ceiling. Solomon's sweet lies were still tempting, even in memory.

"It doesn't matter. He was… probably just lying to me to get closer to me… get… closer to the Red Shield…"

The heard the floor creek as Hagi shifted, as if a sudden realization had come about.

"I see," David said. "Well, as long as there isn't anything _vital _from it, then we can pass it along and move on to bigger things…"

David lectured her about plans and theories, but they didn't phase Saya. Her thoughts, the lies, all encircled her head like vultures on their prey.

She felt Hagi's fingers slide from her shoulder.

She stood up quickly and ran to the nearest garbage tin, vomiting into it.

***

_See! I told you this chapter would be longer! Boy, oh boy! I hope David chose his words wisely when he said they could movie onto 'bigger things'. ;)_

_The update of Ch.1 will be added on with Ch.3. I need more time to edit._

_Thanks! Reviews would be great!_


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